Green Green Grass of Home

1.00am  Sitting in my comfy bed thinking about the events of the last few days and wondering if I will ever get to sleep tonight.  For those who laughed when I said I had jet lag sussed and that I had found the answer (for me anyway) ..... okay you get the last laugh!  My pill induced sleep on the plane didn't quite go according to plan, partly the result of my young friend sitting next to me, who in the midst of my deep slumber, hit panic mode when she realised she had lost her diamond ring.  There followed a succcession of up, down, in and out as we searched, disected and researched our immediate area - through bags, under seats, between seats, etc .... and repeated at least 3 or 4 times!!  By the time I sat down again I was wide awake, and the effects of my little blue pill didn't hit me again until I was on the train to York. But I didn't want to be the example of the snoring, dribbling traveller who misses her stop and wakes up in Newcastle ... or wherever!  So I battled the effect somehow but finally had to give in once I got home to my cute little loved refuge .... and collapsed in my bed until early evening.  And now I am wide awake.

So I need to report that my feet, fortunately, didn't explode mid air and they are much more recognizable now!  I heave a mighty sigh of relief.  Even the search dog kept refusing to sniff at me!!  But spending hours in an airport for 2 successive days, finally getting on the plane and finding room for everyone's excessive hand luggage and then having to suffer the indignity of the plane returning to the Gate as the door was compromised - what a lesson in,  - hmmmmm, not to travel!!  90 minutes of a team of engineers finally opening the suspect door and locaing and removing a small stone/pebble - incredile.  And then 30 minutes more for the paperwork to be completed and signed off.  To a resounding cheer from the passengers, out flight finally took off 4 days 1 hour and 30 minutes late.

Very productive evening of phonecalls and thank yous for my plants being looked after and a bag of goodies left at the back door and dipping into Thich Nhat Hanh  - doing my best to feel rested and hopefully sleep .....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Not just fighting volcanoes ......

1.30pm  Yesterday turned into a day of rethinking patience as one person after another from the airport or airline abandoned me in Calgary!!  But today is a new day.  Sitting here in the airport, at least having navigated check in (2 hour wait in a queue - nearly finished me off!) and security and awaiting my flight at around 3:30pm.  Very concerned about the size of my feet.  Why, suddenly, after my years of life am I worried about my tiny feet?  Well, it's not their length that is bothering me - it's the swelling.  After hours and hours and hours of hanging around I don't recognize these pudgey things in my sandals!  I am somewhat concerned they might explode on the aeroplane.  Do you think I should hand myself in as a security risk?!!  maybe I'll get a reward .... that should pay for last night's hotel. 

Found a quiet spot to "plug in" and am looking over downtown Calgary ... a few miles away.  Quite an imposing sight.

Today is a special day.  20 years ago today, Dave and I exchanged our marriage vows .... to love each other forever, to not cheat with anyone and to be there for one another in sickness and in health.  Has anyone ever successfully sued for break of promise??!  What a wonderful day we had, surrounded by family and friends in the sunshine of York ..... the future held such promise.  Our life seemed to be so enriched by being with one another.  Our planned adventures were plentiful.  We had many wonderful times in our marriage and although it saddnes me that it has come to what it is, I do hope that Dave finds some degree of happiness and resolution.  I sure intend to.  Strange that I should be returning on this day.  When I returned to UK in October, it was the anniversary of the date we moved into our first house - October 26th.  Dates - significant, or not?

Must go eat before I head to gate D44!!  Be back soon(ish).  Bye Bye Canada xx

20/04/2010 Fighting Volcanoes

10:30am Hey gang - I'm back!  Thought I would write about my trip back to York, England from Edmonton, Canada.  Zzzzzzzz!!  Okay, okay - doesn't sound too inspiring does it?  But throw in an erupting volcano, thousands of displaced travellers around the world, nature, wind, ash clouds, poor airline communication and a delayed flight and we just might have us a story!!  Let's see how it evolves.

Day started well enough - OJ and tea to wake me up and get me going and last farewell chat with my wonderful buddy, Sheila. Need to be at the pick up point for the Red Arrow coach at 8:30am.  Dave has agreed to drive me there.  Maybe more of that later.  (No more tears No more recriminations Time to move on) Thought I should just check the Canadian Affair website one more time .....hmmm, maybe I should have just left it.  I can't believe it - the flight is cancelled.  What's going on?  A quick flip to the BBC webpage and I see the problem.  The excitable volcano has decided to show the world who is boss again and is spewing more ash at high elevation which is conspiring with the weather systems to engulf Britain again. Oh poopees!!  Airports due to close again.

Now what do I do?  Go to the airport?  Not go to the airport?  It's no use - off to the phone again.  I have spent so many minutes, actually - no, HOURS on the phone in the last few days - Calgary Airport, Canadian Affair, Air Transat, Thomas Cook .... Here I go again.  Gosh that man never goes home and how come he doesn`t tire of saying the same thing over and over ..... and over ..... and over ...... and over again.  ``Please stay on the phone for the next available representative in order to maintiain your order of priority`` I do wonder if there really is any representative there waiting to put me out of my misery.

Have you ever tried to complete your packing, eat your breakfast, sit on the loo, brush your teeth, carry things downstairs, search for a key, greet your (exish)-husband, avoid tripping over kitties ..... and all for an hour with a phone clenched between cheek and collar bone?  Not easy I can tell you and to top it off it yielded nothing other than an extremely stiff neck and a rather hot and bothered Clare.

Decided I didn't have any real option other than to head south to the airport, which is where I am heading right now.  The Red Arrow coaches are pretty amazing.  Comfortable - lots of room, seat belts, internet access and plug-ins, beverages and biccies, plus a film .... Planet 51.  Decided to give that a miss.  But it is really quite bouncy and typing and bouncing are not 2 "doing" words which really go together.  What an excuse for poor spelling!

11:10am I can see the Rockies from the coach.  Snow capped tops and ridges stretching from North to South beyond the dry yellow prairies of Alberta. Looking forward to seeing the lush green green grass of home!  It's a beautiful day - blue sky with thin whispy clouds and visibility is good, good, good.  Very clear.  No stupid volcanic ash here!

11:20am Just checked the Canadian Affair website and next update for my flight, which was due to take-off at 16:50, will be 18:00.  Looks like it's going to be a lonnnnngggggg day.  I do hope there will be some helpful staff around. If there is no chance of the flight going tomorrow I will head back to Edmonton as soon as I can and be comfortable again.

To be continued .....

Sunday 17th January

  What a wonderful day this turned into!  An appalling nights sleep left me feeling headachey and grumpy and tired.  Thank goodness I don't give in to the first obstacle of the day!  A short hike with good friends across the moors, specifically to take in Bridge 30 on the North Yorkshire Moors Railway, put paid to such negativity.  For steam train enthusiasts, this bridge is in the process of being replaced. For non enthusiasts, just a grand excuse to get out!

Starting from Goathland and heading off through the closed station towards Beck Hole, we immediately came to a short but steep (for me) uphill track through snow, mud and water.  Soon realised my summer boots from Canada, although very comfortable, were maybe not going to be up to the job.  Nearly everyone else was sensibly wearing their wellies.  The group of 9 of us were soon well stretched out .... I take my sheepdog role very seriously - bringing up the rear and checking that the group are together!  What a day - blue sky and sun.  After a week of grey skies, this was beautiful.
Having gained a little height, we immediately headed downhill - through snow/ice which had me faltering and then to steep snow and ice covered steps.  My knees were not happy.  Thank goodness for poles and thoughtful, patient supportive friends.

Arriving at Darnholm we marvelled at the location of the picturesque ivy covered home next to the ford and stepping stones.  I tentatively asked whether the stepping stones were part of the plan, a little un-nerved by the fast flowing river washing over the stones.  Some joking and teasing had me smiling with relief.  Meanwhile the younger element of the group were busy chucking large chunks of frozen snow into the river to watch the man made icebergs wedge up against the stepping stones.  Oh, to be so young and uninhibited!


Soon we were trudging uphill again and I wished I had stripped (1 layer anyway) before starting off.  Not too far, but definitely steep and a good aerobic exercise!  I could feel my temples pounding as my heart raced and I was once again reminded of my lack of fitness.  Tried to disguise my feelings of nausea, but unsuccessfully.  Nevermind, we were now well on towards the escarpment, but I couldn't resist a quick hello and nuzzle with a calm endearing pony waiting patiently at the fence surrounding his field.  I got the impression it was feeding time, as on the other side of the farm, a small flock of sheep came running towards us baa-ing loudly to announce their interest in us.  Not long before we were above the railway line and could see the bridge under scrutiny ahead of us.  A perfect place to stop and fuel the tanks, helped down with a cup of tea.  Martin is a star at brewing tea in the out of doors and came prepared with stove, large pan, 6 mugs, choice of teas plus milk and sugar.  A slight misunderstanding nearly had me without a cuppa, but fortunately it was all put right without too much drama. Lesson: tea should never be joked about! Thanks Martin. It reminded me of the days Dave and I never went out without a brew kit and of the hoards of photos we have of us enjoying a brew with a view. Specifically a holiday in Mayrhofen, Austria comes to mind whereby the quality of each days hike was determined by the "brew view".

Next stop, the village of Beck Hole and a visit to the Birch Hall Inn for a lunchtime pint, or in the girls' case ...  a large pot of tea!  I was driving, so no alcohol for me. The timing was perfect - the one big table and bench, in the sun, unoccupied ..... and few people about.  A large snow mound in front of my place on the bench proved to be a perfect foot support.  It wasn't long before this tiny pub and narrow street became very busy with Sunday strollers or drivers and their dogs  We sat with smug expressions, I am sure, as we made the most of the early afternoon rays and lack of a breeze. Conversation, laughter, teasing .... the time flew by.  Once the winter sun dipped down behind the houses, the temperature dropped considerably and the female members of the group decided we should make a move. The menfolk meanwhile still had beer in their glasses so we thought we would get a head start.  The boys had long since disappeared with their railway enthusiast friends from the village and we guessed they had returned to Goathland.  Their energy? - I am so envious!

The route back to the carpark in Goathland had us sliding a little on the snow, on the gentle gradient of the path following the former railway line and alongside a fast flowing beck.  Passing a small holding we were treated to the clucking of hens and a rather funny rooster struggling with his "cock a doodle doo".  We laughed at the possible explanation of him having a frog in his throat!  Imagine - a rooster with a frog in his throat!!  Tee hee!!  It wasn't long before we were back at the cars and learning another lesson in patience as we waited for the menfolk to appear.  They bravely talked of their hardy woodland adventure, compared to our tame route back.  We think they stopped for another pint in the pub!

So that was the end of our day ... nearly!  A smaller group headed into Goathland - the setting for the popular tv series Heartbeat, for another pot of tea/coffee.  All too soon it was time to head home, and we nearly made it before dark.  The thin sliver of the new moon was a lovely sight in the clear sky on the journey. Happy.

Special thanks to .....

Martin, for being prepared for, and brewing, tea for 6 on the open moors.
Sarah, for pouring wonderful tea at the pub and her care and concern on steep up climb.
Dave, for much encouragement on the steep downward steps and for stealing my poles!
Neil, for much needed drinks at the pub.
Gail, for her entertaining tales of her scottish family.
Rob, for his croggie bicycle ride.
Wills, for his "5 pounds and 30 pence"
Josh, for remembering my name.

I should sleep well tonight! I pray that the help needed in Haiti, for the thousands of people continuing to suffer following the devastaing earthquake, will reach those most in need very soon and that a degree of comfort is achieved for these poor lost souls.  My heart goes out to the population there,

Friday 15th January

I am supposed to be getting on with difficult paperwork ..... but am looking for distractions!  So far, eating breakfast (unfortunately for me, food is my friend and usually helps), catching up on texts (that is "texting" and not reading classics), looking through the Cotton Traders booklet which the postman kindly delivered to me yesterday, thinking about my upcoming birthday (rather different from last year's spent in Maui), listening to a funny comedy on the radio (Arthur Strong), chatting on the phone, planning a marathon cooking session this afternoon, repeated checks on birdlife in the garden.....oh, it's so easy!

And the postman?  What have I done to upset him?  Could it be the day I opened the door to him in early December with my very fetching "I haven't combed my hair for 6 weeks" look about me, dressed in my very fetching bright red penguin print pyjamas and coughing and spluttering as I spoke my first words of the day, before that most important throat lubricating cup of tea.  Why doesn't he bring me any post......other than the inevitable bills?  Please Mr Postman, bring me some nice letters to read. xxxx

Yesterday I took myself off for a lovely short walk across the local fields.  The snow is still here, but the pavements are getting better by the day and the path through the fields was okay.  Even the stiles were manageable - with no ice.  But I took a walking pole for good measure - just to assist with the balance and to ward off hungry bunnies!  No bears here.....no cougars, no wolves or coyotes.....However I watched an interesting programme recently about the re-introduction of beavers into the British countryside, though not here in York.  I used to hate what I called "miserable days" here in Britain, but now I am able to appreciate what such days have to offer.  Damp and misty, windless and cool would sum up yesterday.....and it was beautiful.  I had the fields to myself for the most part and took the time to concentrate on my senses.


Touch: The rough slippery slimy wood beneath my hand whilst clambering stiffly over the stiles. Feathery grasses dancing in the gentle breezes. Icy cold camera in stark contrast to my snuggly warm hands.

Sight: Amazing eerie mist, with the silhouette of barren trees standing to attention in all directions, as if the countryside's sentries. Small birds fluttering from tree to tree through the hedgerows (sparrows, tits, chaffinch, goldfinch). Larger birds (pigeons) exploding in a panicked mass from the upper reaches of a tree as I approach along the path. Blackbirds industrially searching beneath the hedges in their unforgiving search for calories. A grey heron passing overhead looking so majestic - I almost feel I should salute him. A pair of mallard ducks floating along the amazingly clean and clear waters of the drainage channel. A 'LBJ' (little brown jobbie) silently and mysteriously flitting from bank to bank in its search for food before flying away with an undulating gait way into the misty distance. Wildlife tracks in the snow.....crows (they sometimes drag their toes through the track leaving long lines as can be seen in the photo), bunnies - nothing too exotic! Abandoned farm machinery from times past. I wonder why?

Smell: Sweet and delicate smell of soiled straw piled along the path - I imagine to be the result of a mucked out barn.

Taste: I wasn't tempted to taste old snow, slurp water from the drainage channel or munch on berries!

Sound: A lot of silence interspersed with the endearing lowing of cows at a far away farm, chatter of hedgerow birds, a woodpecker drumming in the distance, cars cruising along a nearby lane, high pitched machinery squealing as it completed its task, flapping of wings from surprised birds - ducks and pigeons, scrunching of crisp old snow underfoot.

Here is a marvellous photo of the heron flying overhead.....(tee hee), accompanied by a photo of what better light would have produced!!

That's enough of my missive for today.  As you can see, I love nature and being outdoors in the countryside and sometimes there is nothing better than alone time, strolling quietly along, taking everything in.  I love where I live!

Wednesday 13th January

Something occurred to me today.  It could be seen as rather sad, but as I like to analyse where my feelings and behaviour come from, so that I can understand what is happening to me (or my mind) these days - to me it is a revelation.  Something I now understand, accept, admit.  Something which I realise I am now totally responsible for in the future.  Something which may or may not change or be changed.

Oh how I miss having another living being around me soooooo much.  I realise now how lonely it can be on one's own.  Of course I can go out and see people, but the normality of everyday life at home has been lost. I truly miss Dave so much sometimes that I feel my heart cracking - even after all the pain he has put me through.  The table is a lonely place to eat a meal - no general banter, no smiles, no discussion of the dish served.  No good mornings or good night kisses.  The house seems hollow ... it is so quiet, no footsteps, no doors closing, no loo flushing and I just don't feel right talking to myself ..... or a wall.  For more than 20 years I shared my life with my husband and even though we had companionable silences, there was always life nearby.  Music, chink chink of climbing equipment, snoring and a voice in all its dimensions - chatter, laughter, singing. Plus, of course, our cats.  Even if Dave wasn't around I always had 2 little dependants to chat to, cuddle, care for, talk to, reprimand, laugh at, etc etc.  I miss that so much .... company, warmth of another living body close to me, laughter, chat, disagreements even.  Sometimes when I am in the kitchen I hear the front door closing and my heart gives a little flutter as I think, "Dave's home".  But then reality kicks in as I realise it must be next door's front door and Dave is never coming home for his tea again.

Ginger, my friend from next door, came to visit yesterday (miaowing VERY loudly in the rain outside the kitchen door) and followed me around as I got on with my chores - stripping and remaking the bed, (Midgey and Moose used to love this chore - chasing, rolling around and hiding under the sheets!), hanging the washing over the drier, etc.  I sat down for an hour and at that moment realised how lonely I am at home.  He jumped straight onto my knee, purred incessantly, pushed his face into mine, looked deep into my eyes as if searching for answers from me, and then cuddled up alongside me with his sweet face resting on my leg.

Oh how much I miss Midgey and Moose .... although their cuddles are rather different from Ginger's and if I have to be honest, not quite as relaxing .... not with Midgey attacking my ear lobe and pummelling my neck and Moose always appearing to be confused by what is expected from a cuddle! I have much more of an understanding now of how someone must feel when their partner dies, and they are plunged into an unplanned life alone, especially if there was just the two of them at home.  It truly does only take a second for one's life to change unbearably and forever.



On a lighter note, the weatherman announced on the radio today, " It's not getting warmer, but it will be less cold!!"  Go figure that one!  Well I don't know how the weather was (or is) in Edmonton today, as the Olympic Torch is carried on its relay through the city, but it sure was pretty dull here in York.  Rain and misty. Anyway I hope it all went smoothly - no dropped batons or extinguished flames!  I wanted to include a photo here of the River Ouse today (York's river) but for some reason it keeps failing to up load.  No idea why!

It's well past my bed time.  In fact I should have turned into a pumpkin 40 minutes ago!  Happy zzzzzz's everyone.  Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Monday 11th January

IMPORTANT ....... SOS ....... Snow shovel required from Canadian Tire!! Colour unimportant.

It is several days since my last confession .. oops, I mean posting!  What have I been up to?  Well, in a word (or 2) ... not alot.  The snow is still thick and has increased daily, the fieldfares are still visiting, my knees/feet still hate walking in the snow, the sun still sets, I still don't like milk puddings, snow still looks very pretty, etc.  Actually it has to be said that this continued covering of the dreaded white stuff is playing with my mind.  Selfishly I wish it would go so that I can get back to my walking.  The school children are more than happy for it to stay though, as thay have had "snow days" from school ... due to either lack of staff or lack of pupils or lack of heating.

Having said that, there are various snow/ice themed headlines to share...

1. Emergency call put into the police because the residents of a cul-de-sac had been blocked in overnight by the precise placement of a giant snowball that was too large and heavy to be removed!
2. Curling tournament cancelled because of the ice!
   
3. Housing crisis solved by appearance of igloos across the town!
4. Traffic held up as teenage boy attempts to roll/push/shove/drag 3 giant snowballs across the road to his garden (too slow with the camera ... shame)
   

Lots of emails have landed in my in box, in response to my blog writing .... so thank you all! Great to know that all is well on t'other side of the ocean.  And I have been having lots of friend time here ... Sara, Janet, Margaret, Jean .... always someone to drink tea and chat with or play music with or go settee shopping with.  No luck with finding the "right" seating yet ... but the hunt is interesting.

Had the chance to go hiking on the moors today, but with all the fresh snow we have had, I thought it would be too heavy going for me.  Such a lightweight these days.  I understand I made the right decision - lots of deep snow, a steep hill, ice and finishing in the dark!  So instead it was an ideal day to catch up on some movies.  Last week I watched Closer, which, had I known the content and theme, I might have given a miss.  I could certainly have written the script - far too close to real life for comfort!  Infidelity - it is everywhere.  The Mexican was fun and light hearted with gorgeous Brad playing a bumbling fool.  Not so light was Touching the Void.  I don't really go in for rewatching movies, but this true story is such an inspiration ..... it was worth it.  Got my heart going, even though I knew the ending.  I still don't know how he could have possibly survived, other than that his determination and will were beyond questioning.

Technical question?  Is there anyone out there who has knowledge of the workings of Skype?  I had Skype set up on my laptop when I was living in Edmonton, with a shaw email account.  I have now changed that email to my gmail account and also altered my "place" to reflect the fact that I am now living in the UK.  However when someone searched for me, the profile they read says Clare of Alberta and I am shown as off-line even though, at that moment, I was definitely on-line. Any answers or advice?  Please?  Pretty please?

Oh and just in case there is anyone worried about my nourishment, let me reassure you that cooking seems to have taken a turn for the better.  Tonight I treated a friend to Moroccan Chicken, served with couscous .... a hint of spices without excessive heat.  Mmmmmmm.  A trusted favourite!  Here is a previous chicken casserole with my favourite brussel sprouts .... extremely scrummy but an overload of potatoes (most were not eaten!!)  Linda - what would you like when you come?

"Time for bed" said Zebedee.