Have you heard the story of the middle aged female driver who bought a new car and wanted to see how many miles it would do to a full tank of petrol? The one who saw her petrol guage was heading ominously into the red zone, but was determined to complete her experiment, come what may. The one who set off to the wilds of North Yorkshire to meet her friends for supper, passed a petrol station at 9 o'clock but decided to wait until after supper to fill up her car? And guess what ..... after the wonderful Indian supper (thanks Jenny and Bill), the petrol station was closed!! But ever the optomist, this same driver decided to drive to the thriving metropolis of Pickering as she felt sure that there would be a garage open there at 11:30pm. Oh dear - no garage and lots of drunken hudlums staggering around the pavements. Now this dear lady realised she was in a predicament. Definitely not enough petrol to get to York and probably not even enough to get to Malton. In her bag she had a torch so she approached the petrol pumps to see if they accepted credit cards. Maybe they'll work? Nope, no credit cards! She needs to take a deep breath and think clearly. Yes, she needs to find out where the nearest open petrol station would be. But how? She has her mobile with her and can get a signal and some friends happen to be camping up the road. They are bound to be up still. Off with a quick text to ask advice .... but this sort of depends on him having his mobile to hand. Hmm - need to think again. A quick drive around the town centre turns up drunken lads but no policemen so no hope on that route. She needs help to find out some phone numbers and flicks through her mobile. Who would still be up at this time?.....Jean! She says she is always awake until midnight. Dare the daft lady call? Yes, she determines that Jean and Bill would want to help. ''Hi Bill, hope I didn't wake you. If you were stuck in Pickering, at midnight, with no petrol and all the petrol stations were closed, what would you do?'' What a trooper, doing his best to help her, when suddenly the lady in distress sees what most people hate to see ..... a police patrol car, cruising around the roundabout. Quick, she says to herself - how do I attract his attention. She starts flashing her lights at him and hopes to goodness this isn't a hanging offence. He sees her and pulls over to park next to her. In her rush to get out of the car, she drops her phone and trips over her skirt, but manages to keep on her feet and not draw untoward attention to herself. Mental note - give up on the skirts and go back to trousers. "Yes madam, how can I help?" asks a very pleasant voice and before she knows what has happened the officer has jumped into knight in shining armour mode, radio calls are made and within a couple of minutes the lady is talking to her insurance breakdown rescue service and yet another knight is dispatched in her direction. Great credit to the dear officer as for some inexplicable reason the lady finds herself pointing out to him that although her tax disc has expired, it has been renewed and she is waiting for it to arrive. "It's a 60 pound fine, you know, for not displaying a current tax disc", he says with a smile. The shaken lady obviously doesn't disguise her shock as he continues "I'm not interested in that tonight"!! Phew!! People can say what they like about our boys in blue, but this lady definitely met a gentleman tonight - who not only went to the ends of the earth to get her back on the road and didn't make one comment about her stupidity, but also stayed with her until the breakdown man arrived, with his tenner worth of petrol, 40 minutes later.
Lessons learned :-
- Always fill up with petrol when you can
- Always carry your insurance and breakdown details with you
- Realise that just because York has petrol stations that stay open until all hours - in 'country, things are different
- Go to the post office to collect your tax disc if you are close to expiry date
- Keep one's mouth shut!!
Alright, you can stop laughuing now. It's not THAT funny. Okay, well maybe it is!!
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