Wednesday 6th January

Hello friends.  So now the snow in the UK has reached "the south", it's really big news and there are special programmes on tv to keep us all up to date with the situation, wherever we are!  More snow overnight here.  I think I would have been as well to sit up all night and watch the snow flakes come down as opposed to actually going to bed.  Settled sleep is just not coming to me.  Instead I am battling demons most nights which makes for a pretty stressful and tiring time.  To the big man upstairs ... if you are reading this, would you please remove the distressing images and storylines from my head?  Thank you.  Much appreciated.
                                                        
Typical garden scene in York, as seen through my friend's window ....
            

Funny news story today ...
There is so much snow in Scotland that the skiing areas are in the best shape possible.  Only trouble is, they are closed .... due to the snow!!

Here is a photo of a fieldfare - one of a pair that were in my garden yesterday, performing an amazing balancing act as they defied the laws of gravity whilst stripping a shrub of its small red berries.  I was very excited as this is the first time I have ever recognized this bird.  I'm sure I will have seen many in the past but not known what they were.  One in particular looked quite splendid all puffed up against the cold. I do hope they return.  They are winter visitors from Scandinavia.

Now I realise that a blog wouldn't be a blog without some more negative stories and although I keep my writing fairly up beat, I really need to share my frustrations of yesterday.  So it was finally time to register with a doctor and I dutifully completed my forms, attached my NHS card for change of Dr and popped everything in an envelope and hand delivered it to the practise.  What could go wrong?  One of the reasons I have delayed this process is that one has to give a complete medical history and I knew that by doing this it would resurrect painful memories for me.  I am dealing with enough mental anguish on a daily basis - I really don't want any more.  The form allowed room for little more than 4 entries and so I decided to make and complete a beautiful printed table form of my history. Visiting a Dr's surgery instantly brings out amnesia in me and so I thought I was well prepared having already submitted all the information and dates.  Is it only me or does the rest of the world wonder whether anything is ever done with this information?  I was somewhat surprised to spend time with the practise nurse and discover that the forms I had completed and hand delivered had gone missing and so I then had to rack my memory, after all, to come up with important dates.  But, in fact, after a search the forms did appear so I was relieved that all should be safe.  Then, in with the Dr, he also had none of the information I had submitted.

The following day I needed to return to the office and request my NHS number for a form I needed to complete and as my NHS card had been handed in, I didn't have the number. Embarrassingly, this also had gone missing.  To my shock really, I was somewhat taken aback when I appeared to be told off for having handed it in as it seems I shouldn't have.  Funnily enough the instructions on the NHS card clearly stated that it should be handed into the Dr so that his/her portion could be completed.  I gave up trying to explain and justify my action ... what was the point?  But how frustrating.

So why do these sorts of events get to me so much?  Would they to you?  I wish I could understand better.  I suppose I always feel that I should do things properly and follow instructions correctly, so it then seems unfair when it is not appreciated.  Not sure what lesson to take from this!

For those of you who are missing the references to food and meals, I apologize!  I am finding it incredibly difficult to adjust to cooking just for one person instead of two .... I suppose I don't want to only cook for one.  After all the years of planning, shopping and cooking for Dave and choosing meals which I know he would like, the table feels rather lonely these days. Anyone want to come for dinner to help me over this hurdle?  In the meantime, it's a quick meal tonight .... fish cake and chips from the best chippy in town .... tasting all the better because of the blizzard!  Take care all ....